恋愛にともなう外圧と「ゆらぎ」について

恋愛と「ゆらぎ」

「ゆらぎ」とは変わること

まさにこれぞ人間関係の「ゆらぎ」というお話を紹介します。

昨日、最近彼氏が出来てという35歳の女性と話をする機会がありました。
付き合いたてもあってか、相当熱の入れようで、いわゆるラブラブ状態。

そんな彼女には21歳から付き合っていた彼氏がいて別れたばかりでした。
どういう理由で別れたかは聞きませんでしたが、
今でも連絡は取り合っているそうです。

それを今の彼氏に黙っておけばいいと思うのですが、
なにも気にせず彼女は全部話してしまうそうで、
今の彼が(T_T)「前の彼はどうだったの?」と
嫉妬してか、いろいろ気にするそうです。
それはそうなりますよね。私も同じ立場ならそうなります。(^^;)

他人との比較は一般的に良くないと言います。

テレホン人生相談のK先生も
「他人との比較は人生の悲劇」とまで言っていますが、
私は全く違うと思っています。

「ゆらぎ」の考え方であれば

相対の、他人と自分と比較が無いと成長しません。

自分は自分なんて言ってたら「ゆらぎ」は無くただの頑固者で人生終えます。

過去と未来の自分、これを比較、考えて現在の自分に「ゆらぎ」で変化させる。

「自分にはこれが足りていないな」
「これは気にしていなかったから変えよう」
「この言葉使いはやめよう」
「気がついたら言葉にしよう」など
今の自分に足りていないことは自分と他人を比較しなければ変わりようがないのです。

そんな外圧によって「変わろう」という現象が科学でいわれる「ゆらぎ」です。

特に

恋愛には「ゆらぎ」が働きます。

恋愛なんて面倒だという意見が最近若者の間で増えているそうです。
これは恋愛が面倒だというより「自分を変えたくない」のでしょう。
これでは「ゆらぎ」は起きずエネルギーは落ちていきます。
エンドロピー増大の法則に従って

恋愛ほど外圧「ゆらぎ」が働きます。
成長できる。
痩せる。
綺麗になる。
若返る。もちろん努力が必要です。
でも努力と感じさせないのが恋愛という「ゆらぎ」の力なのです。

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